It’s starts when we are young and the contact and care are chaotic or disrupted or unpredictable or just not there. Maybe abuse is there instead or as well as love.
It goes underground. On the outside a part of us functions and copes. Another whole world inside is hidden, cut off, numbed out. We lose touch with our body, our sense of self and purpose and basic goodness. Body systems go haywire and can’t harmonise. The adaptations start to cause problems – in our immune, digestive, endocrine, musculoskeletal systems. Our stress response has two modes – “I burnt the coffee, were all gonna die high alert” or ” I burnt the coffee, there is no hope and nothing more but to shut back down.
The internal flow, awareness and connection that supports good things in our life, struggles and collapses when we need it most.
Life gets hard, but we don’t know why. We are good at coping. But life gets harder and coping gets more critical. It affect our relationships, health, finances, social support. More adapting and coping because we are resilient people. A growing sense that it didn’t or doesn’t need to be this way.
Living becomes an isolated existence, isolated from fragments of our selves, from caring others, from our body and sensuality, from the realisation of the rich full potential of who we are.
Loss of critical contact is how is starts. Bringing back in the critical contact is how it heals. Contact with your body to start, to make it safe and bring it online. Then contact with lost fragments, broken dreams and carefully power packs of purpose and mission in life. Contact with how frangipanis smell and how the energy in your body moves.
Contact with your deepest truest self and what it wants so desperately to experience and achieve in the world. Contact with the awareness within you that you are one with, connected to and breathing in harmony.
It states with broken contact.
It ends with contact. Deep, pure, playful, purposeful, both freeing and fulfilling your soul.
Contact. Knowing somewhere is there, that they get you and have your back. They are your middle of the night person.
Contact. Feeling your occupation of your own body.
Contact. With your whole self and all your parts and the soul expression that drives them.
Contact. True contact and sense of acceptance, care and validation from the world out there.
This isn’t for everyone. This is for those of you who have fought and struggled and fallen and fought again. You may have tried a bunch of things, a string of doctors and therapists and spiritual practices. Or maybe you held it all in and pushed through, but your health is showing the signs of that and a part of you so deep inside knows it can be different, longs for a life that is more “yours”.
rewire 4 life blog
Articles, videos and resources for healing complex and relational trauma.