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You’re strong because you’ve had to be.

You’re strong because you’ve had to be.

by | Sep 7, 2017 | Authentic You, Front page slider, Healing

You’re strong because you’ve had to be. Life hasn’t worked out the way you expected. It’s hard.

You wonder about the parallel you and life you could have had.

You’ve learned a lot. Books and workshops and all kinds of therapy, because you know you are more than your current circumstances.

There’s a dream in there, dusty as it may be.

You may feel desperate at time, or stuff it down at others.

Let me help you join the dots, follow the trail, the misty haze from early life, that you thought you had left behind long ago.

To see how adverse childhood experiences saw your brain adapt, your nervous system work harder, your mind swing from pushing through to breaking down.

Again and again.

Let me help you soften and open enough for the authentic you to rise up and fill the space.

Let me help you to breathe freely and create your life, moment to moment, from this wise and alive place inside you.

That is also awake and intelligent and flowing in the world around you.

It all is you.

rewire 4 life blog

Articles, videos and resources for healing complex and relational trauma.

Soothing with your own song

Soothing with your own song

by | May 29, 2017 | Healing, Sound healing

When a very young child part is in distress, a lovely way to bring soothing is to sing to them.

Think about that lovely free way children sometimes sing to themselves or anyone who will listen, a song about ‘we are going in the car, to the shop, today to the shops, there’s ice-cream at the shops’  kind of sing song nonsense and more about sounding out than the literal meaning of the song.

Think about how parents sing lullabies to children, then the song runs out and the child demands more, so the parent is left singing in soothing tones about nothing in particular.

Yesterday I was lying in bed and a young part was in distress, thinking she had lost a friend and was all alone in the world.

I started sounding in bed, like an ongoing chant, using the words ‘oooohhhhh’ and ‘aaaahhhhh’ and feeling what they brought to the tension in my belly and my heart.

Before long I found the chant-style sounds had become a lullaby to myself, about how my chest feels and how my belly feels and about how “I’m here for you” and “You’re here for me”.

It was a very soothing, grounding practice, it kept my attention both with my inner state and with the adult part of me capable of bringing something needed to it.

Have an explore with using your own voice in a chant or gentle song to bring contact and soothing and presence to a young part.  Maybe you’ll make up your own lullaby to sing (ideally) or record and playback.

Your very own sound healing.

rewire 4 life blog

Articles, videos and resources for healing complex and relational trauma.

A flicker of the old pattern – micro-dosing the pain exposure

A flicker of the old pattern – micro-dosing the pain exposure

by | May 27, 2017 | Energy, Healing, Nature, Trauma

I was sitting down by the beach at the end of the day, taking in the setting sun.  I had been reflecting on how stable my inner world had been of late, then an old pattern showed up, just as a flicker, the whole journey of it, there in a flicker.  Triggered by some uncertainty inside a friendship, unsure how trustable things were, and an old pattern that shows up as terror, abandonment and chaos flickered to life inside me.

I was able to speak to it with words of logic and allow it to feel held by the general sense of community around me and the grace of nature.  There was much more of me in a resourceful state than was attached to the flicker of the traumatic memory.

I saw my old pattern of wanting to get busy and put things in place to stop the abandoned chaos from being there, then caught myself and met the feeling sense of this pattern in my body again, round two, and allowed the rhythm and waves of the ocean and nature space around me to soothe the unsettled rhythms in my body.  Then I became very aware of the larger, calm wise whole being back in the driver’s seat.  Able to act or not act.  At choice.  Holding and soothing the traces of pain.

This is ideally how we want processing sessions to be – a microdose of the pain pattern and lots of soothing and resource to surround it.

rewire 4 life blog

Articles, videos and resources for healing complex and relational trauma.

Held by the rhythm of it all

Held by the rhythm of it all

by | Mar 18, 2017 | Healing, Nature

A flu and the CFS have my body tired. I lay down on a wooden bench at the beach and let the sounds and sensations hold me. 

The gentle air moving, playing over the top of my body. The hard wooden bench below, bigger than me, a secure feeling, it straightens my back, opens my spine and tired stuck organs and muscles splay out.   Three long slow birds in the distance and some chattier ones closer by. The waves turning, cycling over and over, so reassuring. Endless, timeless. 

The day is overcast but the sun filters through clouds and gently warms me from the north. 

Just now this is what’s most important, being held by the rhythm of it all. I can resume mind questions later if need be. 

And the space opens up bigger inside me, more muscle melting. Breath larger and rounder, a consuming beauty. My arm and the wood of the bench seeming to be of the same substance, melded, gently animated. 

The life and the rhythms that are larger than me, move through me, of the same fabric as me.

rewire 4 life blog

Articles, videos and resources for healing complex and relational trauma.

What grounds me

What grounds me

by | Dec 28, 2015 | Healing

Yesterday I had planned to write the intro to the grounding section of the course.  You’ve got to laugh, I became aware after a while that I was very ungrounded.  Any thoughts of pushing myself to sit down and write would not have borne fruit.  Probably lots of very boring heady words.

I had been unwell, but had nine clear days to sit and write before the new year of work started again and my timetable said I should be writing about grounding today.  I was feeling a little stressed and disappointed that I couldn’t get myself into the right headspace and flow for it.

So I started fiddling with a few things around the house.  Before I knew it I was full on into cleaning the inside of my car.  This was no ordinary clean that any neat types amongst you might imagine.  It was six months worth of putting stuff in it and not taking it out.  And sand, lots of sand.  I decided that as I live by the beach, I wouldn’t fuss about sand, but there were the makings of a fine beach emerging through the carpet.

It was a hot day and before I knew it I was completely immersed in the task.  One small part and then the next, each leading to the other, then finally the satisfaction of a job well done.  Later, I met a new friend for dinner.  We clicked and found humour in small things, slowly revealing a little of ourselves to the other.  We shared a little touch as we sat together talking animatedly and my body warmed.  Today I noticed I was losing energy feeling sad around an unresolved issue with another friend.  I made another effort to reach out and speak from my heart.  It worked at least enough for the moment and I felt a little more whole.

I met another friend for lunch.  We ordered an old fashioned burger and chips and I also ordered a chocolate milkshake (don’t normally eat much dairy).  We talked about personal and universal themes, then played pinball a while at this fantastic old school milk bar near the airport at Coollangatta.

On the way home I lay on the beach a while, let the sun beat down and the sand get in my hair (and yes, back in the car!).  I came home and lay on my sunlounger and let some time drift by.  Let the busyness and drama of the christmas season float by me.  Allowed myself to sink deeply into myself, for my rhythm to slow.  To feel the safety of that moment, the holding of the lounger, gentle breeze, quiet birds.

Now I am ready to sit and write.  There is momentum and capacity for it.  Some flow opening.

So what grounds me?

  • being physical
  • being warm and in the sun
  • being connected in and honest, heart-centred and open way with another human – seeing and being seen
  • humour and playfulness
  • conscious, loving touch
  • honouring my emotions and felt sense
  • places that connect me with simpler times
  • hearty food
  • fun without agenda
  • rest
  • the sounds and gentle movement of nature

What grounds you?

Write down 5 things.  Share 2 on Facebook.  Do one today.

rewire 4 life blog

Articles, videos and resources for healing complex and relational trauma.