Contact

Contact

Contact.

It’s starts when we are young and the contact and care are chaotic or disrupted or unpredictable or just not there. Maybe abuse is there instead or as well as love.

It goes underground.  On the outside a part of us functions and copes. Another whole world inside is hidden, cut off, numbed out. We lose touch with our body, our sense of self and purpose and basic goodness. Body systems go haywire and can’t harmonise. The adaptations start to cause problems – in our immune, digestive, endocrine, musculoskeletal systems. Our stress response has two modes – “I burnt the coffee, were all gonna die high alert” or ” I burnt the coffee, there is no hope and nothing more but to shut back down.

The internal flow, awareness and connection that supports good things in our life, struggles and collapses when we need it most.

Life gets hard, but we don’t know why. We are good at coping.  But life gets harder and coping gets more critical. It affect our relationships, health, finances, social support. More adapting and coping because we are resilient people. A growing sense that it didn’t or doesn’t need to be this way.

Living becomes an isolated existence, isolated from fragments of our selves, from caring others, from our body and sensuality, from the realisation of the rich full potential of who we are.

Loss of critical contact is how is starts.  Bringing back in the critical contact is how it heals. Contact with your body to start, to make it safe and bring it online.  Then contact with lost fragments, broken dreams and carefully power packs of purpose and mission in life. Contact with how frangipanis smell and how the energy in your body moves.

Contact with your deepest truest self and what it wants so desperately to experience and achieve in the world. Contact with the awareness within you that you are one with, connected to and breathing in harmony.

It states with broken contact.

It ends with contact. Deep, pure, playful, purposeful, both freeing and fulfilling your soul.

Contact.  Knowing somewhere is there, that they get you and have your back. They are your middle of the night person.

Contact.  Feeling your occupation of your own body.

Contact. With your whole self and all your parts and the soul expression that drives them.

Contact. True contact and sense of acceptance, care and validation from the world out there.

__

This isn’t for everyone. This is for those of you who have fought and struggled and fallen and fought again. You may have tried a bunch of things, a string of doctors and therapists and spiritual practices. Or maybe you held it all in and pushed through, but your health is showing the signs of that and a part of you so deep inside knows it can be different, longs for a life that is more “yours”.

rewire 4 life blog

Articles, videos and resources for healing complex and relational trauma.

Crayons, drums and layers

Crayons, drums and layers

Healing trauma is a lot about working with the body’s natural rhythms, creating an environment of warm attunement, where safety is felt and a kind of natural alchemy can happen between body based trauma memory and more resourceful states.

It can be helpful to use tools and processes that directly access non-verbal brain domains and felt sense present moment experiencing.

Coloured crayons ???? on a blank page can help ground and strengthen an internal shift.

A drum ???? beat or the movement of banging it can regulate heart rhythm and bring a sense of safety and containment.

Therapy can be a very beautiful multi-layered experience of freeing, grounding and expressing your true self. ☀️☀️

rewire 4 life blog

Articles, videos and resources for healing complex and relational trauma.

Just move your little toe – starting slow to come into your body

Just move your little toe – starting slow to come into your body

The other day I was lying in bed on a weekend morning.  I was feeling flat and low and aware I was falling into that awful in between zone of not awake and not asleep where weird dreams can happen and reality can feel a bit warpy.  There were some good reasons why I was shattered tired and not refreshed from the sleep.

So I started to wiggle one toe.  In moving one toe I could feel the ripple effect through the muscles and tendons in my foot.  I could feel life coming into my body.  My breath changed itself, went deeper and more open.  That felt great, so I noticed that and kept my awareness with it, then my whole torso started feeling nourished by these breaths.  Then I noticed my spine start to arch and stretch and curve itself, while I was still lying down, more of my body was coming online.

Clenching and releasing the whole row of toes now.  Stronger breath inwards, more confident breath, more grounded, more ready for the day.  More stretching of arms and legs and torso.  I decided to focus on just the choice to stand up and put clothes on and everything else could figure itself out from there.

Rather than lie on the couch or bed, stuck, flat and zoned out or exhausted, make one tiny little movement – a finger or toe, a conscious blink of the eye.  Let your awareness stay with that tiny movement in the present movement and see what happens next.  Notice how that movement shows up as sensation and how both affect your breath or your position where you are sitting or lying.

See if you can start a slow cascade into your moment!

rewire 4 life blog

Articles, videos and resources for healing complex and relational trauma.

Building your healing container

Building your healing container

Complex traumatic impacts got created in the first place because your environment (primarily the core people in your life, and also the physical and cultural environment) was unsafe, unpredictable, lacked genuine connection, nurture or support for your autonomy.

Healing trauma requires that you create and nurture a container for your own healing in your adult life that provides the safe connection and kind seeing needed for implicit (body based) trauma memories to experience something new and evolve.

Sometimes this can come from people and the quality of our connection with them.  It can also come from nature, animals, music, activities, movement, your creativity, your connection with the earth and your spiritual life (whatever that means for you).

Knowing and consistently applying certain key principles will help you build the strongest and most nourishing healing container for you.  In many respects, the container is the medicine.

AND the more secure and supportive your healing container, the more you can allow fragments of felt trauma memory forward to be met, healed and evolved.

This is where you replicate, tiny piece by tiny piece, the environmental attunement, support and autonomy that was needed while your nervous system was growing itself.

Your inner and outer worlds are very much connected.  This is how your original environment created the nervous system you are working with today.

Optimising your environment is central to healing trauma’s impact … and as you continue to heal, your outer world experience can come into alignment with that.

rewire 4 life blog

Articles, videos and resources for healing complex and relational trauma.

Traumatic attachment, hyper vigilance and finding your own movement from within

Traumatic attachment, hyper vigilance and finding your own movement from within

We all have a natural movement from within. A life energy that wants to move and animate the body. If we listen to it and act on it we will discover it has its own intelligence and can lead us forward into an authentic and rewarding life.

The defences and self protections you needed to develop when young show up over time in your body. If you listen and sense into the place underneath the defence, you will discover the authentic and intelligent life energy that wants to move and express through you.

If you grew up in an environment of traumatic attachment this process will have been disrupted.

 

Activity: move from within

This video suggests a fun idea for an afternoon adventure to start listening in to your body and its needs, little by little and ACTING ON THAT. The listening and conscious acting begins to create new wiring for a life that is truly yours, lived as an expression of your natural and felt life energy and movement.

 

 

rewire 4 life blog

Articles, videos and resources for healing complex and relational trauma.

Creating the best environment to support the intelligent energy in you that knows how to heal

Creating the best environment to support the intelligent energy in you that knows how to heal

There is an intelligent energy that moves in all of us that knows what’s needed for our healing and growth. Call it wisdom or vital energy or life force or whatever fits for you.

You need to:

A. Recognise when and how it shows up for you and

B. Create the right conditions for it to operate to create in your life .. to connect what needs connecting .. to open what needs opening .. to meet what needs meeting .. to soothe what needs soothing.

There is a right order about all this. And patterns inside patterns that lead to a still point and a beautiful flowing vibrance. Get in touch to put some empathy, attunement, compassionate seeing, secure support in place as you notice and allow your own movement into truth and freedom.

 

rewire 4 life blog

Articles, videos and resources for healing complex and relational trauma.